Letting Go

Even though I know, I know, I know, that God is the Provider. He is the I Am. He is El Shaddai (the God who is more than enough). I still think I am. In my weary brain I keep having the battle of being the one who needs to pull her own weight and prove that I am worthy. I missed a lot of mothering growing up. I had a tired, depressed, distracted,unwilling, overwhelmed mother figure who found her life not to her liking. It left me constantly trying to get her attention to be loved and cared for. I guess I have translated that to God's care, thinking I need to keep working to get His attention. I long to be myself in His love and care but I have been able to get only small glimpses as I struggle to do it all myself. Foolish, foolish person that I am. He loves me, not what I can do. Pieces of my life reflect that I know that but...